Birthday Thoughts


Hey guys. I am not even sure where to begin after not writing here for so long but I just wanted to say that this post is going to be a little different, and it's the one I mentioned when I was sick. It's a blog post that I just wanted to get out there and share with you, I just didn't know when. Today I finally came around to realising what I want to say and I don't know if it's because tomorrow is my birthday or because I am just the biggest procrastinator and felt horrible for postponing this for so long. Anyway, so each year around my birthday I turn into a complete emotional mess. I get horrible mood swings, I get super weird and just generally more thoughtful and concerned than I usually am. You might think why but I just can't explain it, I was barely 12 when it started and I always found this occasion to be odd. I never liked my birthdays, nor does my mom like hers, so I guess it's something we both have in common. But the whole sentiments around this time and concerns made me think a lot, especially about one thing - what's next? I have to admit that I have no clue, but somehow I finally came to accept that it's ok to be uncertain and just let it be.

The first half of 2015 has been draining, I was stressed out of my mind, there were some sad things that put me in an emotional place I hope to never return. But lately, having been in a routine I discovered that I am having a hard time being on this sort of steady path too, so maybe I do need a life that is a roller coaster and not all steady and smooth? Or maybe this is the smooth part of it for a while. I don't know but I am tired of overthinking, but I seem to have spent too much energy on things I have no control over instead of focusing on what I could have done. When I saw the quote in the image above, it shook me to the core. I always found time scary, intimidating and just generally incredibly hard to comprehend (hence, my dislike for birthdays). I always think about people who have terminal diseases, or people who are without a roof over their head and pray to all the stars under the moon to get one more day and a chance at life. The kind of things most of us take for granted. And I am just sitting there for the last month overthinking things that are pointless, like what should I do next with my life or what is right or what is wrong. I just need to breathe and relax, and do whatever it is that I can make this world a little better. That's my mission for now. Tomorrow I'm turning 21, and I will just try to keep putring one foot in front of the other, without having expectations or overanalysing the smallest things. Overall, it is summer and life is always a little better and somewhat careless this time around.

Sometimes, you look for something in life, but sometimes things or people find you. And I was listening to one song on youtube, which had a beautiful intro. I have never heard it before but it turns out the words in the intro are from Rocky Balboa. And these where exactly the words I needed to hear at this point in my life, and I hope that these words are going to be inspiring and touching to someone out there too. I hope that wherever you are, you are well and enjoying the summer. And sorry that this post got a little wordy, the next post will be more fun! And here's that quote:

'Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that!... Until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life.'

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  1. First of all, Happy Birthday!

    I love the honesty of this post, and the courage it took to share your thoughts and feelings with a bunch of strangers. I admire you for that. I think there are very few people in this world for whom life ISN'T a roller coaster. We take the highs with the lows, and the ebbs with the flows. Sometimes it can feel nice to slow down and follow a routine and live simply. But as human beings, I think it's natural to crave change and progress. To make the most of this life, and we should all strive to do so, we have to follow our own paths and flow with the change instead of resisting it. You seem more than capable of doing that. You have an incredibly adventurous spirit that leads you to travel and pursue your dreams, and when the time is right, you will know which move to make next. Have faith in yourself, and have faith in this life. Despite all the seemingly negative parts of the world, everything happens for a reason and ultimately, we all end up exactly where we are meant to be. The "bad" changes us as much as the good. In fact, we learn more from the moments that knock us down that we do from the moments when everything is light and easy. The challenges in this life are the cause of change in us, and I can tell you accept progress and embrace the opportunity to grow as a person. You'll be fine! Even if you aren't a fan of birthdays, I hope you'll treat yourself in some way! Grab some ice cream, and take in all the beauty around you. Have a wonderful day!